


The Alphabet Agency

by Kurukami



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Drabble Collection, Fluff and Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-30
Updated: 2014-05-07
Packaged: 2018-01-17 13:44:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 3,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1389904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kurukami/pseuds/Kurukami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“What does S.H.I.E.L.D. stand for, Agent Ward?”</i>
  <br/>
  <i>“Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division.”</i>
  <br/>
  <i>“And what does that mean to you?”</i>
  <br/>
  <i>“It means someone really wanted our initials to spell out ‘shield’.”</i>
</p><p>A collection of alphabet drabbles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A is for Aardwolf

**Author's Note:**

> This started because I saw an alphabet challenge for another fandom's fics and immediately thought of the summary quote. With the broad variety of cases and topics that our intrepid Agents must track down, surely there's enough possibilities to fill out an alphabet of drabbles!
> 
> Crack ensued. Enjoy! I'll try to post one letter-drabble each day.

Fitz looks beside himself with excitement at the possibilities.

“The technology I was able to reverse-engineer from Stark’s bug makes this one of the most sophisticated counter-surveillance tools we’ve had in, well, _years_. I can’t even begin to list the ways that taking that device of his apart advanced our efforts in matters like this.”

“Oh?”

“Absolutely! Forget about that preposterous six-gigahertz limit you’ll see on junk Internet bug detectors. The Aardwolf is able to—“

“Wait.”

“—um?”

“You’ve named it… the Aardwolf?”

“Well, aye, after the beasties in East Africa that… mostly… eat termites… and…” 

“…yeah. Change that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**Aardwolf:** a nocturnal black-striped African mammal of the hyena family, feeding mainly on termites._


	2. B is for Byzantine

“You’ve gotta be kidding me, Ward.”

“Nope. I had to go through the same thing when I was new.”

“Come on. I’ve never had to do this before!”

“Well, now that you’re a part of a governmental agency rather than a freelance hacker, I’m afraid you have to.”

“And, what, S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn’t have super-secret-spy accountants to handle all the details?”

“Nope.”

“We can come up with detailed cover identities that go back _years_ but they can’t do this for us.”

“Yup.”

Muttering curses about the byzantine nature of her new employers, Skye bent her efforts back towards the Form 1040.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**Byzantine:** of, relating to, or characterized by a devious and usually surreptitious manner of operations; labyrinthine_


	3. C is for Caliber

“—and _catch,_ and _pivot,_ and _twist_ —“

“Ow! Damnit!”

Ward sighs. “Skye, you’re not doing what I’m asking.”

Someone nearby scoffs. Skye turns, sees a diminuitive redhead with arms crossed. 

“That’s because you don’t know how to fight like a five-foot-four woman, Agent Ward.” The newcomer saunters towards Skye, scrutinizing. “Size isn’t everything, double entendres aside. Physiques differ; you have to focus on skills that emphasize your own strengths. You’ll need techniques that won’t work for Agent Hulk-Smash here.” She smiles diplomatically.

Red scribbles a note before departing. “Email me. I can help with that.”

Skye reads, curious:

_n.romanoff@av.shield.gov_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**Caliber:** the quality of someone's character or the level of someone's ability_


	4. D is for Diner

“Hey, boss? Any chance I can stage a jailbreak from this hospital bed?”

Coulson raises an eyebrow and turns. “Simmons?” 

“ _Alright,_ Skye – I suppose some time outside couldn’t hurt.” Simmons interrupts Skye’s fistpump with: “But I’m coming with you!”

…

“Mmmm. Diner cheeseburger for the win.” Skye’s expression is nearly orgasmic.

“So. How do you feel?”

Skye swallows, grins. “Sorta like everything’s turned up to eleven. Although…”

“What is it?”

A shrug. “Nothing. Well, bright and sorta like all the colors are washed out, but that’s just from being indoors too long. Right?”

Simmons pastes on a reassuring smile, and wonders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These drabbles aren't meant to be of any particular chronological order or relation. That said, I've got a handful of them which do seem to be stitching themselves together -- this one starts poking at the question of "what other effects might GH325 have had on Skye?"


	5. E is for Esoteric

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (This chapter required a wee bit of hasty revising after the April 1st _Agents of SHIELD_ episode, because SERIOUSLY, OMGWTF CLIFFHANGER.)

May isn’t entirely comfortable with monitoring Coulson, even if she understands her handler's rationale.

There’s a reason the clearance levels exist. It’s the same justification Stark uses to keep the esoteric designs for his powered armor secret, encrypted, and guarded by a frighteningly capable AI: some knowledge, if let out, would cause the world to fall into chaos.

The Phase 2 Tesseract-fueled WMDs were just one such secret.

May has never been inside the Guest House. She accepts there are things she can’t, _shouldn’t,_ know. No one without appropriate authorization should.

That doesn’t make spying on a friend any easier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**Esoteric:** understood by or meant for only the select few who have special knowledge or interest; recondite; private, secret, or confidential._


	6. F is for Felidae

It’s the low lights in the infirmary module that initially lets Simmons realize.

She’s walking past – Skye hasn’t been the most cooperative of invalids in the hours since she stabilized, even if she’d acquiesced to rest more – and spots a gleam of light where there shouldn’t be. She turns, sees fluorescence like cat’s eyes in the shadows on the pillow and nearly shrieks.

She looks again, scarcely sees Skye’s silhouette: eyes half-shut in the gloom, hint of a drowsy smile on her face.

Blood tests were the logical place to start.

Perhaps GH325’s done something… _unorthodox._ The question is, what?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**Felidae** is the biological family of the cats; a member of this family is called a felid. Their night vision is especially good due to the presence of a tapetum lucidum, which reflects light back inside the eyeball, and gives felid eyes their distinctive shine._
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> This drabble connects with the previously posted "D".


	7. G is for Glamour

_“Ward.” Jemma smiles reassuringly, praying her pheromone counteragent works, and lays a hand against his bruised cheek. “There’s no need to fight anymore.”_

_His eyes immediately clear of Lorelei’s glamour. He blinks, looks apologetically towards May – who rolls her eyes, frowning, and limps away – then back to Jemma. “You saved us – saved_ me. _”_

_“It was nothing.”_

_“Don’t.” His hand’s on her shoulder, thumb stroking her clavicle. “It means something to me._ You _mean something.” He leans closer, murmurs –_

“—SIMMONS!”

She jerks awake. Ward’s at the door, impatient.

“C’mon, we’re up.”

Blushing, she saves the Asgardian’s gene-sample analysis as _luvptn_#9._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**Glamour:** 1) a magic spell, 2) an exciting and often illusory and romantic attractiveness, esp: alluring or fascinating personal attraction._


	8. H is for Hero

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The majority of this one was written _before_ I caught a showing of _Captain America: The Winter Soldier,_ surprisingly enough. It did, however, cement a lot of the thoughts I'd been having about the general structure of Marvel films (in a good way!) and the direction Skye's plot arc is headed this season. (See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hero#Mythic_hero_archetype, for example. Skye already matches at least a third of the qualifications on that list, and only doesn't match more because so far her background's still shrouded in a lot of mystery and we've still got five or six eps to go this season.)

“Have you ever read Joseph Campbell?” Skye asks.

Ward side-eyes her, curious. “Nope, can’t say I have. Why?”

“He wrote a book awhile back about a pattern called the hero’s journey. A mythic hero, Campbell said, is called forth from the everyday into a region of supernatural wonder, endures trials, and returns from this ‘ _adventure_ ’ with the power to grant benefits to his peers.”

“OK. So?”

“I’ve been thinking about recent events. Stark, Thor, Captain America...” She frowns, fingers absentmindedly tracing paths across her midriff. “So… what we do. Are we heroes? Witnesses? Bystanders? Or just… pawns on somebody’s chessboard?”


	9. I is for Improvisation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probably Jossed as of next Tuesday's episode, but what the hell.

Afterwards, Fitz is as astonished as the rest of them that his mad idea had actually _worked._ He’d known, after all, that fiddling with flight control systems of a vectored-thrust aircraft _while in midair_ was a plan that tore right past “ _a few bumps_ ” into “ _oh God oh God we’re all going to die_ ” territory.

“Hey… Fitz.” May slumps down across from him, still looking wrecked.

“Agent May.”

“…I’m sorry.”

“Oh? For, um?”

May winces. “There’s really no good way to apologize for nearly shooting someone in the face, is there?”

He half-smiles, equally exhausted. “At least it was _nearly?_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**Improvisation:** the act of improvising, i.e., such as creating and performing (music, drama, or verse) spontaneously or without preparation._


	10. J is for Jabberwocky

“Well,” Coulson observes, ducking into cover beside her. “This could be better.”

May risks a brief look over the barrier. “Could be worse, too.”

“Oh?”

“Sure.”

“How, exactly?”

“Well, did you see a doppelganger of me out there?” She grins, lip bloodied.

“Can’t say that I did.”

“See? We’ll be fine.”

“Oh, good. For a minute there I thought we were in trouble,” he quips.

“Just so you know, though…”

“Hmmm?”

“If I see you with a goatee I _will_ do my best to shoot you.”

He snorts. “Ready?”

She finishes reloading and nods, eyes fierce. “God-damned quantum mirrors. _Go!_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**"Jabberwocky"** is a nonsense poem written by Lewis Carroll in his 1871 novel  Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There._
> 
> 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves  
> Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;  
> All mimsy were the borogoves,  
> And the mome raths outgrabe.
> 
> "Beware the Jabberwock, my son!  
> The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!  
> Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun  
> The frumious Bandersnatch!"
> 
> (from Wikipedia) 


	11. K is for Karaoke

“It’s been three weeks, Phil,” May notes.

“I know.”

“Long enough that—”

“I know, alright? I know.”

“I’m just saying they’ve probably forgotten all about us since that... incident. Everyone’s stir-crazy.”

Coulson grunts.

“Alright, understood. Nightclub, then?”

“My preference for big band jazz doesn’t mesh well with Skye’s tastes in music.”

“Karaoke?”

Coulson shudders, remembering. “No. Once was enough.”

“Laser tag?”

“That comes a bit close to our day job, doesn’t it?”

“True,” May admits. “Well. There must be another bar _somewhere_ nearby we haven’t offended yet.”

Coulson rubs his temples. “How long ‘til the Bus is fixed, again?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because really, something as complicated as the Bus must need maintenance and repair _sometime,_ and while Fitz is good he's no aircraft technician.
> 
> (I regret nothing!)


	12. L is for Levitate

“Hey, Simmons?” Skye’s nervous. Simmons is probably busy with more important sciency things, right?

“Hmmm?”

“Have you ever… dreamt you were flying?”

Simmons gives her an odd look. “…mmmaybe? I must have, at least once.”

“So they’re fairly common?”

“I suppose. Why?”

“…I’m sure it’s nothing,” Skye manages, and tries to forget the dream of floating above cracked desert, the sun hot on her face, the sensation of _strength_ , the way her elbows and body _whump_ ed simultaneously into the mattress when she awoke and fell.

She was probably just… sleepwalking. Inside her quarters. On top of her bed. Yeah.

Probably.


	13. M is for Maskiróvka

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers for ep 1.16, "The End of the Beginning", and 1.17, "Turn, Turn, Turn".

Ward’s arm flashed up, gun ready. The sharp _crack,_ the sudden stink, burnt gunpowder overwhelming sweat and Kevlar, steel and gun oil. The Clairvoyant, finally captured… and then dead, in the blink of an eye.

You’re aghast, I know. In the brig on the Bus, you can’t explain it. How Ward, no matter how provoked, could just…

It defies explanation.

How could the Clairvoyant possibly expect to continue beyond that? What was his plan? Your thoughts whirl, unable to comprehend it. You can’t imagine. Nothing makes sense.

But don’t you worry, Coulson.

Every move you make, I’ll be watching you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**Maskiróvka:** (“camouflage” / Russian: military, especially regarding Soviet warfare) a set of procedures designed to confuse, mislead, and camouflage oneself from the enemy._


	14. N is for Nineteen Eighty-Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Semi-spoilery for ep 1.16 and 1.17, definitely spoilery for _Captain America: The Winter Soldier_. Consider yourself warned!

It takes thirteen hours to crack the project-file’s encryption. The result…

“You’re damn right I’m pissed off,” she bristles.

“Skye.”

“No! The NSA monitoring’s sketchy enough. Ellis took tons of justifiable flak when _that_ hit the media.”

“Skye—”

Ward's trying to deflect her, though he looks unsettled. “And this _’Project Insight’_ , what the hell? Let's just call it Project Orwell, Project 1984—”

“Skye!”

She glares.

“We’re S.H.I.E.L.D., remember?” Ward aims for reassuring. “I’m sure there’ll be protocols to prevent abuse.”

...

Later, after Garrett, after the devastation in D.C., saying “ _I told you so_ ” seems a lot less important. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**Nineteen Eighty-Four** , sometimes published as 1984, is a dystopian novel by George Orwell published in 1949. If you haven't read it, seriously, GO READ._


	15. O is for Overboard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After the kinda dark and gritty last few drabbles I wrote surrounding present eps and _The Winter Soldier_ , I felt the need to toss out something adventure-y and comparatively light-hearted. Too much angst is bad for the digestion. ; )

Ward coughed, lowering the projector. “ _'Trust me'_ , she said. ' _This almost certainly won’t turn into an ice-nine situation,_ ’ she said.”

“Well.” Coulson spat to clear the gunk from his mouth and peered overboard. “Simmons wasn’t wrong about that part, thankfully.”

“She’ll be ecstatic,” Ward deadpanned. He poked at the gargantuan tentacle trapped in the squamous mass of anesthetizing coagulant-foam, then took a hasty step back as it twitched. “How are we getting the boat free, again?”

“Luckily, Agent Ward, this is one situation where we _do_ have a bigger boat.” Coulson keyed the satphone. “Carrier, this is Andromeda. Package secured.”


	16. P is for Piano

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers for ep 1.17 ("Turn, Turn, Turn").

Coulson curls his fingers into fists and splays them wide again, aching with the aftermath of the Hub melee. He feels battered, hands stiff and swollen and clumsy with fatigue.

He remembers the way his hands used to feel, the way he could make his fingers dance across a piano’s keys, muscle memory echoing years of practice since adolescence. He’d met Audrey that way – noodling an improvised jazz tune in a practice room after a mission wrap, as the cellist was finishing that night’s recital.

_God, I miss those days._

“What are we planning to do next?” May asks.

“Survive.”


	17. Q is for Quantum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sort of spoilers for 1.17. If you've read the previous handful of drabbles, it really shouldn't be spoilery by now.

She’d hesitated a half-second too long.

“I’m sorry it had to end this way, May,” Coulson says regretfully. “I’ve always respected you. It’s a shame you were unwilling to join us.”

“You… bastard…”

His mouth quirks up in something resembling a smile, distorting the clean lines of his well-groomed goatee. “There’s no call for that sort of language. Goodbye, Melinda.”

Coulson raises the pistol, and his chest explodes with red.

“May!” Garrett shouts. “You OK?”

She can only see his silhouette in the door. “Unff. No,” she manages, gun ready. “Mind helping?”

The sight of mirror-Garrett’s goatee is surprisingly reassuring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup, it's a crossover from "J is for Jabberwocky". *sly grin* Evil mirror universe, Coulson's bad, Garrett's good.


	18. R is for Redacted

**From:** d.streiten@med.shield.gov  
 **To:** ~~n.j.fury@hub.shield.gov~~  
 **Sent:** 5/6/2012 23:49EST

~~Director Fury,~~

Per your direction, ~~Agent Coulson~~ has been transferred to the ~~Guest House~~ facility for ~~regenerative resuscitation~~. I must protest the utilization of the ~~GH compounds~~ in the strongest possible terms. Despite over ~~twenty years’~~ research, our experiments have never garnered consistent results and any ~~resuscitation~~ could have unpredictable effects.

Respectfully,  
Derrial

\----------

**From:** ~~n.j.fury@hub.shield.gov~~  
 **To:** d.streiten@med.shield.gov  
 **Sent:** 5/7/2012 01:07EST

Doctor, I need ~~Coulson~~ now more than ever. Moreover, if my suspicions of ~~the Clairvoyant’s identity~~ are correct, this may be the only way to ~~flush the conspirators~~.

You have your orders.

~~Fury~~


	19. S is for Subzero

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the brief hiatus! Real life sprang up and bit me on the ankle this week. This one's a short little AU that I'm considering expanding into a longer fic, revolving around the Agents being pulled into some of the events of Thor: The Dark World.

“This was your masterful plan?”

“…admittedly, it might need some modification now,” May observes. “It’s still better than the plane losing a wing to one of those rifts.”

Coulson peers out the window towards the ridge, barely visible through the swirling blizzard. “What’s our status? Can we get airborne again?”

“Honestly?” She checks a few controls. “I don’t know. Whatever caused those portals did substantial damage.”

“Find out what needs fixing, update me soonest. Wherever we are, it doesn’t look friendly.”

“Coulson.” May points. “What the hell—?”

On the ridgeline, a towering blue figure is staring in their direction.


	20. T is for Traceroute

`_# traceroute horseplay.hd.shield.tech_`

`_1.......‹10ms.......‹10ms.......192.168.1.1_`  
` _2.......217ms.......405ms.......219-88-164-1.jetstream.xtra.co.ca [219.88.164.1]_`  
` _3........20ms........32ms.......210.55.205.131_`  
` _4........30ms........40ms.......202.50.245.198_`  
` _5........30ms........40ms.......g2-0-3.tkbr3.global-gateway.net [202.37.245.141]_`  
` _6.......180ms.......180ms.......pao1-br1-g2-2-101.gnaps.net [198.32.176.129]_`  
` _7.......170ms.......170ms.......nyc-m20-ge2-2-0.gnaps.net [199.232.44.53]_`  
` _8.......240ms.......241ms.......0503.ge-0-0-0.gbr1.ash.nac.net [207.99.36.157]_`  
` _9.......250ms.......261ms.......209.123.182.244_`  
` _10......250ms.......260ms.......0.so-0-3-0.schmidt.hh.net [66.246.3.197]_`

`_Trace complete.  
Calculating IP physlocation: 668 Revillagigedo Ave, Havana, Cuba (23.127465, -82.360575)_`

...

“Got you, you son of a bitch,” Skye breathes, turning. “Boss! Hydra finally plugged that hard drive into something on a network. My Trojan has their location.”

Coulson’s expression, too often grim nowadays, tugs into a small, fierce smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _In computing, **traceroute** is a computer network diagnostic tool for displaying the route (path) and measuring transit delays of packets across an Internet Protocol (IP) network._
> 
> Because yes, Skye _is_ that good of a hacker.


	21. U is for U.S.T.

“I don’t see why _I_ couldn’t have been the one partnered up for this.”

“Fitz. It’s a surveillance op in a _lesbian bar._ You’d kind of stick out.”

“Well yes, but—“

“I mean, sure, we could’ve sent May, but she’d either intimidate the hell out of the mark or get phone numbers from half the women there. Maybe both.”

“I’ll admit that’s a fair critique; however—”

Ward is _smirking_ at him, the cocky bastard. “Are you more upset that Skye kissed Simmons, or that Simmons was kissing back?”

Fitz just groans and puts his head in his hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**U.S.T.:** (abbreviation for Unresolved Sexual Tension) A social phenomenon that occurs when two individuals interact and one or both feel sexual desire, but the consummation is postponed or never happens. In entertainment, usually because some element of the story is keeping them apart._


	22. V is for Vampire

Skye grunts with pain as she goes over Ward’s hip, sprawling hard on the training mat. “— _damnit!_ Thought I had you that time.”

“C’mon, get up. Do it again.”

She slowly rises, falling into stance. “How the hell did you get so good, anyways?”

Ward feints, circling. “Oh, I’m the prophesied child of two vampires. I was stolen as a baby, raised as a warrior in a time-dilated Hell dimension, and returned to challenge my father.”

Skye gapes, distracted. “…really?”

Ward traps her wrist and flips her again. “No. What do you think this is, a Joss Whedon show?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... because Ward's line about Garrett having pulled him out of a hell and saved him from himself was way too good to pass up. Also, because the thought of Ward being brainwashed-grown-up-Connor makes a scary amount of sense.
> 
> I REGRET NOTHING.


	23. W is for Wayward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers for episode 1.17 through 1.18, clearly. It also got jossed pretty hard by last night's ep, I believe.

The cafeteria’s only smoldering by the time she finally talks to him.

“Ward.”

Even in restraints, prone on a gurney, he gives her an insolent, bloodied grin. “Skye.”

She stares at him, mouth twisting. “…why? Why all this?”

“Because the world _needs_ order. All the political infighting, the factions… S.H.I.E.L.D. and the UN,” he sneers. “They’d never accomplish it.”

Her lips thin. “Boss! I’m done here.”

Coulson comes through the door with May, quick. “Any last words?”

“Yeah. Hail Hydra, and screw you.”

Coulson just smiles grimly. “Don’t worry, Ward. I’m sure you’ll love T.A.H.I.T.I. just as much as I did.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**Wayward** 1) following one's own capricious, wanton, or depraved inclinations : ungovernable; 2) following no clear principle or law : unpredictable; 3) opposite to what is desired or expected._
> 
> Also, from the song by Kansas:
> 
> _Carry on my wayward son,_  
>  _There'll be peace when you are done_  
>  _Lay your weary head to rest_  
>  _Don't you cry no more_
> 
> _Masquerading as a man with a reason_  
>  _My charade is the event of the season_  
>  _And if I claim to be a wise man,_  
>  _Well, it surely means that I don't know_
> 
> Anyways, I've got this hunch that the writers don't necessarily want to completely throw Ward's character out the window after season 1. Nothing to base it on except that comment by May about having an technician on the team to reprogram Coulson's brain if Coulson's memories slipped, which suggests that the T.A.H.I.T.I. apparatus at the Guest House may not have been the only one around. On the other hand, it's not like Whedon shows are loathe to whack a character if the story demands, either.
> 
> That said, short of the death/capture of the rest of the AoS team Ward's death or mental repurposing are a few of the only ways I see him finishing out this season. That, or maybe Garrett getting killed off and Ward becoming a recurring villain.


	24. X is for X-Files

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for something a _little_ less dark.

Even after the incident with the mashed potatoes and (later) the paper-mache, Coulson still thinks it’s debatable.

“No, Skye, I don’t care what your Rising Tide cohorts claim to have unearthed. Despite what may or may not have occurred at the Battle of New York, the FBI does not have an X-Files division and there are no little grey men.” 

She puts on her most winning smile. “Awww, c’mon, boss! Even you have to admit this evidence is pretty convi—“

“They’re blue. Also, not particularly little.”

The scary thing is that she can’t tell whether or not he’s joking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the very first alphabet drabble I threw together for this series, and it came to me in about five minutes flat. Figuring out what to do with the rest of the letters has been the real challenge since then.
> 
> Set early days, almost certainly before "T.A.H.I.T.I." aired.


	25. Y is for YouTube

Really, it’s YouTube’s fault.

You can’t put someone smart as Skye is in permanent foster care and _not_ expect her to seek some kind of escapist hobbies. So yes, after penning some hideously bad fanfic in the late bloom of adolescence (she’s never using the name Enoby again, _ever_ ), and getting bored with hacking the local PD’s database (because come on, reports of that incident with the sriracha sauce were grossly exaggerated), naturally she often found herself prowling around YouTube on the caffeinated side of midnight.

Then Iron Man happens. And _everything_ changes.

She buys the van and goes hunting.


	26. Z is for Zero-Sum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaand wow, done! I had a ton of fun with this, even if I did struggle on a couple of letters. Thanks for sticking with me, those of you who've been reading this for a while.

“You’ve got it?”

Ward lifts the hard drive. “Right here.”

Garrett’s grin is predatory. “Any trouble with the girl?”

“Skye?” Ward tosses Garrett the drive, watches him catch it with both hands and a look in his eyes somewhere between avarice and glee. “Not a bit. Turns out getting someone to believe everything you say can be pretty easy, given the right circumstances.”

Ward half-turns away, draws his pistol, spins back smooth and quick. Garrett’s _fast_ , damn him; even distracted and with hands full of presumably priceless hard drive, his gun’s already half-drawn.

Two shots echo off the concrete walls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**Zero-Sum:** In game theory and economic theory, a zero-sum game is a mathematical representation of a situation in which a participant’s gain (or loss) of utility is exactly balanced by the losses (or gains) of the utility of the other participant(s)._
> 
>  
> 
> In my personal headcanon, this takes place after W is for Wayward. Ward's been "readjusted" via T.A.H.I.T.I. or some other means.


	27. Deleted Scenes, Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in the course of writing out these drabbles, I considered and discarded more than a few ideas -- some because they got jossed as the end of the season drew closer, some because I just couldn't figure how to work them at the time. I may post more of these when I have time to write them out properly. Enjoy!

** S is for _Surprise._ **

"I'd like to state for the record I still think this is a spectacularly bad plan."

"Duly noted, Fitz."

"Once she comes through that door – assuming everything goes well and we _don’t_ end up with broken bones, she's still gonna be furious."

"It won’t be _that_ bad."

"Ward—"

"Did you put the right amount of candles on?"

"No, I guessed low. Better safe than--"

"Shhhh!"

The door creaked open, spilling light into the room. A shadow loomed, and –

"— _SURPRISE!_ "

…

Predictably, more than a little of May’s birthday cake ended up splattered on the ceiling shortly thereafter.

 

* * *

 

** M is for _Marvel._ **

Coulson’s hand grabs for hers–

–and misses.

Skye tumbles free of Lola as they roll backwards out of the Bus. Wind tears at her, and God, _oh God_ , it’s a long _long_ way down to the ground. She can see Coulson fighting frantically with the skycar’s controls as he tries to wrench it back towards her–

The ground’s coming up fast, _so fast_ , and she desperately tries to deny, to _push it away_ —

—and she’s—

—slowing?

Fifty feet over, Coulson is descending in a semi-controlled glide.

Skye hovers, amazed, terrified, and wonders how the hell she’s supposed to get down.

 

* * *

 

_My silly headcanon theory is that Skye-as-084 is actually a hidden Kree child of nobility, and that  
the GH325 catalyzed her into becoming the MCU's version of [Captain Marvel](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captain_Marvel_\(Mar-Vell\))._

 

* * *

 

** Y is for _Y’ha-Nthlei._ **

“All right,” Coulson murmurs into the comm. “Now.”

There’s nothing but static.

“Ward? Now. Launch the torpedoes now!” He bites back a curse. “Ward!”

Coulson hears the dark chuckle behind him and spins. From the tenebrous hollow, Garrett glides forward. His features seem abnormal, disproportionate, shimmering in the moonlight with an eldritch iridescence, and a foetid stench like a marsh’s decay wafts from him.

“I’m afraid your man Ward is actually… _my_ man Ward.” Garrett grins, toothily, horrifyingly, his mouth contorting wider than any man’s should. “Hail, Mother Hydra.”

Ululating cries echo in the distance, and Coulson raises his gun.

 

* * *

 

_Because H.P. Lovecraft needs more love, and come on, it's HYDRA. Google "Y'ha-Nthlei" and you'll see what i mean. :)_


	28. Deleted Scenes, Part 2

** F is for _Family._ **

Skye’s not sure she knows what family is.

Grow up in foster care, get sent around to half-a-dozen plus homes in as many years, and see how _you_ feel about the whole concept.

Still.

Watching Fitz and Simmons squabble good-naturedly over something technical in the labs. Seeing Coulson and May sharing small private smiles over coffee while they’re waiting on clearance for takeoff. 

Ward. Teaching her to fight.

Is that family?

She thinks, _huh, maybe_.

Until she finds out May and Ward are boning, because she always pictured Coulson as father and May as stern mother, and then, well, _ewww_.

* * *

_One of the more surprising things I discovered while writing these was that I quite enjoy using Skye as a perspective character. The character has a distinctive voice, and often I could turn a concept on her reaction to, or interaction with, something. (It's all the more surprising because I really didn't like the character at the beginning of the season.)_

* * *

** S is for _Suit._ **

“No,” says Phil, straightening his tie.

“But—”

“No, Skye.”

“Awww, c’mon, we’re in _New York City!_ We got our guy. Why can’t we play tourist for an afternoon? Maybe get lucky, catch sight of an Avenger or two…”

“That’s an extraordinarily bad idea.”

Skye gives him one of _those_ looks, and Phil rolls his eyes skywards before continuing.

“Aside from the fact that they most likely still think I’m _dead_ , and—”

They come through the hangar door, and Phil stops short. There’s a scarlet-and-gold figure standing on the Bus’s cargo ramp.

“Son of a bitch,” says Tony Stark.

* * *

_Sure, the Avengers think Coulson's dead. But how long can that really go on, particularly if he  
and the rest of our merry band keep poking their noses into odd happenings across the globe?  
Sooner or later, someone's going to figure it out._

* * *

** M is for _M-F-K_ **

**clearblue:** the movies lied, simmons. surveillance is borrrrrrring. mfk?  
 **simmonsj:** Pardon?  
 **clearblue:** marry fuck kill.  
 **simmonsj:** I couldn’t possibly comment.  
 **clearblue:** c’mon, i know you’re bored too. not limited to bus, obviously. SHIELD, avengers, whoever.  
 **simmonsj:** …fine.  
 **clearblue:** so?  
 **simmonsj:** Fuck: Thor.  
 **clearblue:** ooooooooooh, nice.  
 **simmonsj:** :P  
 **simmonsj:** Kill: Stark.  
 **clearblue:** and…?  
 **simmonsj:** Marry: Dr. Banner.  
 **simmonsj:** …ormaybefitz.  
 **clearblue:** o_O  
 **simmonsj:** shutupshutupshutup  
 **simmonsj:** You?  
 **clearblue:** fuck: stark  
 **simmonsj:** *vomits*  
 **clearblue:** j/k! ;)  
 **clearblue:** marry: captain america.  
 **simmonsj:** That’s rather surprising.  
 **clearblue:** what? i LIKE apple pie.  
 **cavalry:** If you don’t clear this channel you’re BOTH on my list for kill.

* * *

_I joyfully credit sevenfoxes' fic, of the same topic, for this one._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Overall, I really enjoyed writing all these. I might have a couple more ideas lurking in the back of my head. For the time being, though, if anyone wants to throw out a word prompt or two I'll give it a shot.


End file.
